Tuesday, December 13, 2011

That Awkward Time When You Don't Want to Start Something New...

So I'm sitting here after my philosophy final thinking about everything I could have added but didn't, about all the hours I spent prepping for the other questions that I never got to answer while my mind takes some time to recover.  And since I have dinner plans in twenty minutes, I thought it a perfect time for a blog post.

It's about that time when I start reflecting on this past semester, its importance, and what it's taught me about life, or rather what God has taught me through it.  I only took 15 credits, so I don't have much to show for what I've learned, especially since getting straight A's is totally out of the question.  But man, it's been some semester :)  The integration I experienced between education psychology, Old Testament, and philosophy is quite incredible; I never knew how integral the nature of how we welcome goods and what a child needs to develop and viewing Genesis as a function account rather than a creation account could become when studied simultaneously.  Such is the beauty of a liberal arts education.  Not only have my classes been incredible (and excruciatingly yet pleasantly? tough), but my rooming situation has added greatly to my life.  It's been extremely difficult learning how to best love and live with my best friend, and it's been rough most of the time, but only because of that roughness can we have its opposite.  Never before have I acknowledged my insatiable desire to please people because my personality is so strong that it obscures this.  It's true though, like mother like daughter, I've inherited this flaw.  And so has my roommate, but it's expressed in a completely different way.  Where she changes outwardly in response to people's demands and wants of her, I change inwardly.  I let the ones I love walk all over me, I let their opinion of me create a war against myself, and I keep my true voice from being heard so as not to be seen as obstinate.  Most people would probably say they hear my true voice too often, but not regarding relationships.  I can speak my mind about ideas and still respect yours, but I can't stand up for myself in a relationship if it knocks the other person down.  Sometimes however, as I've found recently, by letting someone walk on you in a relationship you're making sure they never truly learn how to treat someone and so are limiting their ability to flourish.  Maybe it's not a knocking down that occurs when you lovingly stand your ground but a picking back up, a dusting off, into the will of God.

So here's to this semester, for finding my voice again through the grace and peace extended to me through Jesus Christ.  Here's to this semester, which has brought with it an even stronger calling to education, to writing, and to philosophy.  And finally, here's what was worth more than even the $17,000 spent on this semester: that I've found my way through Divinity to the path of trust.

Keep carrying the fire.


  1. What is so special about the extra 3 credits that lets you have "something to show" for this semester? 20% more classes doesn't seem like it'll magically give you results. Perhaps you should be taking better classes... I see your perfectionism in that sentence, and I don't think it's good. Nothing wrong with 15 credits. Otherwise, I like the article. Well done as usual.

  2. James, you obviously missed my assertion that my classes were incredible. "Perhaps you should be taking better classes" was really offensive, and yes, I do feel guilty for only taking 15 credits since my parents are paying way more than yours for me to go to school.