Wednesday, November 16, 2011

One of those "can't think of a title" weeks...

Well.  I just finished the 2nd movie of the week...pre-Thanksgiving, anyone?  And the thing is I'm restless. Restless because of possibility.  Why is it that living a habitual, normal life can be so enticing when the chaos of new circumstances throw you into disequilibrium?  I feel like I'm changing, but the world is staying the same.  I don't know who to turn to, who will get me.  Because reality is that I'm far away from home, and I'm tired.  I'm tired of the ridiculousness of guy/girl interactions at Wheaton.  I'm tired of the over-spiritualized atmosphere.  I'm tired of the work and the stress and the friendship strife.  Yet something grounds me here, something tells me this is where God wants me, in the middle of all I can't understand.

Crush...  Catalyst to confusion.  Can I turn off the outside voices?  Can I just get to know you?  Can I cut the complication?  Should I.

If I say I want to walk in the way of the everlasting, does that make it true?  Or does that make me a hypocrite?  I long to be known, but maybe the unknown is beckoning me.  Two roads diverged in a wood, and I stood by, watching, waiting.  Will it ever be my turn to walk?

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